Coming Distractions

An indeterminate amount of time ago, I was asked to contribute a blog post to this site. Not wanting to be a jerk, I said, “Fuck that”. At least that’s what I said mentally. In actuality, I felt I didn't have much to say that would necessitate a blog post. Yet they kept asking me to write one. Apparently they saw something in me that I could not. Something of worth. Something of value. Something of merit. Something worth spreading amongst the masses. I began to ponder what this something was they saw in me. What was it that made them think I had something to write about? Was it due to my frequent long winded babbling about innocuous frivolities? Was it because my opinions were just that, facts, and they wished to share them with the world? It’s possible, but probably not likely. Soon I began to wonder about Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth, The Witness, Only One the Game, and myriad of other things I’d rather be interacting with in some way. That’s when it hit me. I may not have anything of value to give, but my ADHD may bring amusement to others. Eureka! That’s what they saw in me! My ability to get easily distracted by nearly everything.

Now that I have a framing device to give the pointlessness a point, I just need to figure out what “Distraction” to write about. Should I discuss The Witness? Eh… it’s been discussed enough. Should I write about Lego Dimensions and whether it’s cost is worth it? Maybe, but it’s not very timely. I’ll tuck it away for another time. What about Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth? I could talk about whether it is objectively good or not. There could be something there, but let’s keep searching. How about Only One the Game? It’s timely, it’s about the afterlife, and it’s Kanye West’s new video game. The only problem, I don’t know much about Kanye West, and I feel that would be detrimental to the piece… eh, it’s the Internet, it can take another poorly researched article for the team. So without further adieu, I give you…

Main Distractions: Only One

Not a bad title if I say so myself. Wait! Gravity Falls finale is starting! Uh.... I’ll be right back! In the meantime here is Johnny Toxin (yes, that is his name… or so he claims). Ok Johnny, I’ll be back in an hour, keep the place clean while I’m gone.'re just going to...leave? He's gone. Well, while he's busy watching cartoons for children, it's best you know what follows. Introducing the other half of the Among Elusions programming department, Aaron Garland. What he lacks in presence - and current existence - he makes up for in support for the whole team. He--

Okay, I went and checked. The episode is almost over. Aaron will be back to you in just- h-hey! Wait! I didn't properly-

What a satisfying finale, I’m a little misty eyed it’s over. I’ve grown to love those characters, and now they’re gone. Well, not really. I can always revisit them thanks to DVR and streaming services like Amazon Instant. For a show I only started watching a couple days ago, I wasn’t expecting to get so invested that I’d look up online about the show’s creator Alex Hirsch, and the show in general. For those who don’t know Gravity Falls is what you get if you put The X-Files, Twin Peaks, Lost, and The Simpsons in a blender. It’s a hilarious emotional ride with a clever mystery. They knew when to play their cards close to the chest and when, as well as how much, to reveal information about the mystery. It’s definitely a show that rewards multiple viewings, since there is so much going on in an episode that it’s easy to overlook clues in the background and sometimes right in front of you. On first viewings you get sucked in by the comedy and the relationships of the characters, as well as the mystery. On subsequent viewings you start to notice things in the background, a character here, a shape there. Which shows that the creators knew what they were doing. Even some jokes land on a second viewing that wouldn’t land on the first. The show is like Hot Fuzz with the amount of stuff thrown at you, but it’s never tedious. In its forty episode run, there wasn’t a single bad episode. Which is definitely an achievement if I say so myself.

Wait! I got so caught up in trying to describe Gravity Falls I forgot to mention who the characters were that I fell in love with. Well first off there are the twins Mabel and Dipper. Mabel is a hyperactive 12 year old girl, and she is just adorable. She may be my favorite character in the show. Mabel is voiced by Kristen Schaal, who some may know from Bob’s Burgers as Louise. Dipper is the one who stumbles upon the mystery when he finds a journal chronicling the creatures and other supernatural things in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Dipper is voiced by John Ritter’s son, Jason Ritter. Mabel and Dipper are sent to their Great Uncle Stan’s place in Gravity Falls, Oregon for the summer. Great Uncle Stan, or Gruncle Stan, is voiced by the show's creator, Alex Hirsch. Gruncle Stan is a sleazy proprietor of the Mystery Shack, a rundown tourist trap. He get’s one of my favorite moments when he asks the kids, “All right, maybe I haven’t been the best caretaker. But I swear, today we’re gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?” to which the kids shout, ”Yay!” then after a beat Dipper responds, “Wait, what?”.

Did I mention this is a Disney cartoon? Yeah let that sink in. The show has a lot of things in it you wouldn’t expect from a Disney cartoon series. Some stuff I’m still surprised Disney let them go as far as they did. For example, the show has some genuinely frightening imagery for kids. I’m in my mid twenties and I got some heebie jeebies from some of the creatures. The creator himself said he was surprised. He said he kept pushing it further and further as the series progressed, and Disney didn’t do anything.

There are way more characters I could talk about like Soos, also voiced by Alex Hirsch; Wendy, voiced by Linda Cardellini (Freaks and Geeks, another fantastic show); Robbie, voiced by TJ Miller (Some may know him from Deadpool, I know him from Silicon Valley); and I think that’s enough this is starting to look too much like a cast list. I will add that Nathan Fillion, Justin Roiland, Will Forté, Patton Oswalt, John Oliver, Jon Stewart, JK Simmons, Louie CK, and more provide voices for the show. Some of them are practically regulars.

I think I’ve rambled on long enough. To sum it all up, even though I just recently found out about this show, I’m going to miss it now that the show is finished. It was a very funny, emotional journey, and I am very happy the creator got to do what he wanted with the show. Sure it’s sad that Alex Hirsch self-canceled the show, but he knew it was the right time, even though I would have liked to have spent some more time in Gravity Falls. There is Only One Gravity Falls.


Note: Yeah this post is kind of an “F- You” but I hope you found it amusing. That’s really all I care about. If you weren’t entertained, then I failed. Which is highly probable. To make it up, here are my actual thoughts about Kanye West’s new game. I’m looking forward to it. It could be very interesting. I may not be a fan of the person or his music, but I do respect how hard working and honest he is. Even if his honesty can be problematic. I did intend this post to be about Kanye West, but I just felt I couldn’t do it justice since I don’t know enough about his work. I also felt that I didn’t have much to add that Film Crit Hulk didn’t already cover. In fact here, go read it, it’s a very good read.

- Aaron